i wonder if white people really don’t understand that Black and Brown kids (hell some of us grown ass adults) hurt themselves all the time because the idea of trying to survive in this world that seems to hate us is to much.
that racism is something that can make you feel hopeless and can trigger all sorts of harmful behavior.
i mean personally i know (and i’ve talked about) how many of the obsessive and compulsive thoughts that i have are about what it means for me to walk around in this Black body. like racism, fear of being discriminated against, fear of racial violence is quite literally a trigger of some of my most severe anxiety attacks and self harm episodes.
like there are children that i know aren’t here because walking around in a Black body seemed like it would be too hard for them. no one talks about that shit. none rushes to save those kids from being called the n-word by white women on the internet.
like enduring racism is a psychological trauma that we’re all supposed to just learn how to deal with. but it kills us institutionally, indirectly, and damn sure directly all the motherfucking time.
For some reason (despite all the anti-bullying campaigns), people (especially in America) want to pretend that racism isn’t mentally & physically harmful unless someone is being killed. They really need to believe their “It’s just a word/We were playing/You’re too sensitive” routines matter. Meanwhile you’ve got black kids going through that Oreo stage as part of growing up because they don’t know how to exist in a world that tells them they are worth less & can only be valuable through the lens of whiteness. And sure, they might get support & safety at home, but if they don’t? Man look, as someone who survived life in a predominately white suburban high school I’m here to tell you that between home problems & being called a nigger at school I tried to take myself off the count more times between 14 & 16. And all of the “Well black kids don’t commit suicide” nonsense is really deflecting from the fact that there are lots of ways to self harm & lots of ways that depression & other mental illnesses can play out.